Coming from a huge family with seven girls and a mom who has been so involved in our lives, I had so many people to lean on, but there was nothing ahead of us but the unknown. I spoke to my husband and we agreed it was time to have Jack looked at. What followed became our journey.

My husband and I sat patiently with our son in the doctor’s office, waiting for test and examination findings. Our doctor was wonderful in explaining to us the details of Jack’s situation. “Mr. and Mrs. Gardner, your son has hydrocephalus, which is swelling around the brain due to a blockage...your son has a brain tumor”. Of course, the tears were immediate and the thoughts of dealing with all the variables overwhelmed us. We had no idea how we could present the information to our children, especially Jack. We began the process of gathering information, and eventually, decision making about our course of action and what would be available to us. It was decided that we would begin chemotherapy. You see, the tumor was large and it had an odd shape that reached into several areas of the brain. It was inoperable.

Jack dealt with the news by naming his tumor. He called it “…Marvin”. There were also other names like” the monster” , but as we sat in the hospital waiting for surgery to have a port placed in Jack’s head (to drain off fluid and eliminate pressure), I remembered what Jack had said to me that morning when he had seen me crying, “remember Mom, the options are all good here. I can stay here or go to be with the Lord. Why wouldn’t I want that? It’s all going to be ok”. His faith was so strong and so amazing to the health care professionals. His witness became a bright light to all who came into contact with him. Everything about him showed that God had given him “that peace that surpasses all understanding”.

Since that initial 16 month period of chemo, we have been with Jack through several hospital visits and procedures and we have made some wonderful friends. We have watched Jack suffer physically, deal with changing behaviors brought on by the tumor’s location in the brain, sleep deprivation, serious and uncontrollable cravings, and many daily struggles, but mostly, we have seen the handiwork of the Lord in the manner in which He has blessed our family and given us peace and joy in the suffering.

In the past four years and from stage to stage, what we have experienced is beyond description. Our family has had an all encompassing peace knowing “He will keep us in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon Him”. We know He is holding us squarely between His shoulders as we travel this road. Now, the Lord has impressed on us that we can show a symbol of His amazing grace and love to us.

I had seen the peace sign from the 60’s revitalized lately as many people have brought the trend back into vogue on shirts, jewelry, and stationery. It hit me that we must know His peace, not the peace of this world. I imagined in my mind a new kind of peace sign and from that, the next phase of this journey has begun. John 14:27 became our verse, “Peace I leave you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives . Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid…”. We know that the peace the world offers does not give us a resting place. God’s peace strengthens us for each new day. We have created a new peace sign that we can use as a tool for testimony of God’s unending love for us. We caption it “know HIS peace” and followed it with John 14:27. Our family is working to get products, including t-shirts that can be worn as a banner of the Lord’s peace and love, born out of our journey down this winding road.

We still have a long trip ahead but we are so grateful to know that we don’t have to be aware of where we are going or how long it will take us to get there. The Lord is with us and it is He who is directing our steps. We hope you will proudly wear “know HIS peace” products with an understanding of how they came into existence – from a young man with God’s hand on him and a family who has experienced His peace every day of this journey.